I don’t have much for the internet today.

I spent my time in Isaiah, which is rich and deep and sometimes confusing. Then I hopped over to the New Testament (Luke 6 to be exact) and read about Jesus healing the man with the shriveled hand on the Sabbath. Then spent my prayer time pleading for comfort for family, strength for today…enough grace to put into practice the words of Christ.

But this prayer time was a struggle. Easily distracted by dog and cats, the sounds each of my family make as their bodies resist waking up, and the gurgling hunger pangs in my own stomach…I ended somewhat frustrated by the whole “natural man” aspect of it.

Elizabeth Gilbert mentions this about a breakthrough in her prayer and meditation time: “Thoughts come, but I don’t pay much attention to them, other than to say to them in an almost motherly manner, ‘Oh, I know you jokers…go outside and play now…Mommy’s listening to God.’”

I wish I’d read that BEFORE I prayed this morning. It might have helped me deal with each of my distractions with a little more authority.

But the funny thing about days like today is that though I felt less like I was sitting in the presence of God and  more like I was talking to the walls, I know he’s going to show up. It most likely will be a random time. For example, during the last errand of the day, walking the aisles of the grocery store wondering what, exactly, was on the list I left on the counter at home…and seeing a phrase like “quilted for your comfort”  on a toilet paper package that reminds me that HEY, I prayed for comfort today and WOW he delivered on my requests even though I wasn’t sure he’d even heard it(the benefit of hindsight being what it is). And it’s in that moment, in the paper goods lane of all places, that I feel the rush of him, the love of him and that glorious peace that I long to experience.

He’s funny that way. There all along, then letting me sense him strongly when I least expect it. And not only for the good of those I pray for, but for my own benefit and faith building.

So if you see me wandering Wal-mart alone, but suddenly cracking up…well, don’t judge, OK?

Eirene,

Jen

Does this child know how to live or what?

Psalm 46 says “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

In the original language the words that form the phrase “very present help” can also be translated something like this “assistance that is exceedingly, abundantly (forcefully) found, encountered, or fallen in with.”

Are you in trouble? I am. I’m a mess with my schedule and unattended responsibilities piling up. I’m feeling a little off my mark, and a lot off my rocker. Maybe your mess is different from mine but the end result is that we are in need of help.

Not just help, but a very present help. Someone who can abundantly  be found. Someone who can forcefully (as in with great degree of ability) come in and takes charge of a situation.

I’ll never understand why when I need him the most, I tend to seek him the least. Do you do that too? We are not going to happen upon the help we need, until we turn our hearts and faces to the only one who can provide it.

We need to fall in with the only provider of complete refuge and strength. Maybe that means letting go of “it.” Maybe that means depending on his strength to get through it. Maybe that means asking forgiveness for it.

He is my refuge and strength, the only assistance that is exceedingly, abundantly found whenever I simply seek him. I hope you encounter that today, too.

Eirene,

Jen

Here are some quick notes on my experiment with being intentional:

I can rock mindfulness when I am alone! Who knew? I surely didn’t because it is so rare when I am truly alone. Yesterday morning in the car, after I had dropped off Fourthborn and until I made it to the front door of my office building I was a sensory sponge. I noticed things I never noticed before (and this is a route I take five days a week, and have taken for YEARS). Things like the touch of cool dampness on my arms as I was walking through a patch of fog. Or how about the way the sun bounces off of the tops of the mile high grass covering the cow fields? There was the a slight whistle where the passenger side window wasn’t fully closed. Or the rhythm of the creek and that crazy bird call I metered my steps alongside.

One of my areas that I wanted to be intentional was my work tasks. I wanted to give more thought to their priority, the amount of time I would need to complete them, and what input (if any) I would need from others. And in that sense, I was so ON that I had completed my URGENT To-Do list by lunchtime. It was time to move into planning mode! I love planning MODE! So in the area of accomplishing work, this mindfulness paid off in spades.

It was a totally different story once I was among other people.

Here’s the thing I noticed about trying to be mindful and intentional around others: THEY DON’T COOPERATE! Obviously. Like, duh, Jennifer. I think it would’ve been awesome if we were ALL on this experiment and all of us were viewing each other (difficult customer, I’m looking directly at you) through the same filters. So while I was approaching situations in this certain mindset, and I started off being able to communicate with others in that space…it was only a small amount of time (and one difficult phone call) that spun me out of mindful and into reactive.

So, I have lots to learn about that area. I think I will break down the different aspects of relating to others and work toward mindfulness and intentionality in one of those areas at a time.

Today I am a listener. What are you really saying to me? Tomorrow maybe I will stop and say a breath prayer before responding to anyone and everyone. I don’t know, maybe I will switch those two…

So, what did you take away from your day of intentionality?

Ya’ll know, because I take great pains to tell anyone and everyone who will listen, that I have a bit of the Crazy. I like to believe that it’s the level that makes my life full of the quirky goodness that it has, and it’s the level that keeps things interesting in a good way.

If I am wrong about that level, please do not tell me. I will be shattered.

But the crazy spins a bit too fast sometimes and it’s a battle to slow down to a reasonable speed.

So, today I am going to be intentional about slowing down and breathing and enjoying this very moment I am in. I’m going to be deliberate in my approach to my relationships, my work, and my walk. I’m going to put a little more contemplation into what I “consume” through all of my senses. I just want to see if I can do it for a day, or even for an hour!

Can you take a day to perform this type of experiment? Let’s compare notes tomorrow…