Little explosion
inside me, in my spirit
“Go, my child, and hear.”

Spontaneity~
out of character for me
so it must be Him.

So, I go and hear:
new songs, visiting preacher
special manna for me.

“God has spoken it.
He’s ready to move you up,
but weak faith hinders.”

Preacher man says this
“You were given a vision–
God is more than able.”

Now, pointing at me–
“He’ll give you exceedingly
more than you have seen.”

Little explosion
like lightening bolt to my heart
awake now! I know

It is not in vain
that my pruning cut so deep
many fruits will grow

Weak faith has to go
I can do all things through Christ
I speak it and believe.

The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! This is the one I meant when I said, ‘A man who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’ I myself did not know him, but the reason I came baptizing with water was that he might be revealed to Israel.” Then John gave this testimony: “I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. I would not have known him, except that the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, ‘The man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is he who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’ I have seen and I testify that this is the Son of God.”
John 1:29-34

I am reading the Gospel of John with my Greek reference at hand. You know what that means, don’t ya? DEFINITIONS!

The word translated seen there is “Horao” which means “to see with the mind, to perceive and know; to become acquainted with by experience; to take heed, beware, care for and pay heed to.”

The word translated testify there is “Martureo” which means “to be a witness, bear witness, affirm that one has seen or heard or experienced something, or that one knows it because it was taught by divine revelation or inspiration.”

This is what I want from my relationship with Christ. I want to see Him and experience Him in such a way that I am continually grown in Him. I want to see and experience Him in such a way that I struggle less and less to take heed and follow his teachings. I’ve striven to rid my life of the things that hinder my ability to see and perceive and know and have experience with Him. I have seen and I have testified what God has done in my past and through my writings here what He is working out in my present…

John the Baptist cried out “LOOK, the lamb of God!!!” (or “Behold!” in some translations, not the same word as “seen”) Then two of his disciples left him and began to follow Jesus. When Jesus noticed them He asked them what they wanted. Instead of answering they just asked Him “Where are you staying?” And in verse 39 Jesus replied “Come and you will see.”

THAT is the same word in the Greek, though. Come and you WILL see with the mind, you WILL perceive and know, you WILL become acquainted with by experience. Christ was not just talking about where he was hanging out physically, though. He was inviting them to see where He was walking in the spiritual realm. He was inviting them to see the Kingdom of God while still connected to this earth.

And a testimony is the natural reaction to that, isn’t it? Andrew, one of these guys, goes to tell his brother Simon and brings him to Christ. Later when Philip was called, he went to Nathaniel with his testimony. Nathaniel scoffed, but then Philip said “Come and see.”

Same word. Same invitation to come and see, perceive, experience and know the Kingdom of God in Christ.

Just like John the Baptist, Andrew, Philip and Christ himself, I want to say the same thing…Come and see. Come to the meetings. Come to the Bible Studies. Hear the testimonies, grasp God’s vision for your future. Come and See.

You guys. So shy here on the site, so willing to share in email! Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted to get feedback whenever, however. But the unfortunate side effect of emailed comments rather than comments posted here is that person A can’t see that person B is going through the same thing. There is comfort in knowing that we aren’t the only one, ya know? Think about that.

Yesterday’s post was a shoot from the hip, pour out the heart kind of thing. And today, I intend to use the same method to talk about one more aspect of change that we sometimes muck up or miss completely. And that aspect is vision.

Once upon a time, God gave me a vision for my family life. That vision (this was years ago, by the way) was so completely contrary to what I was seeing at the time that I discounted it as “wishful thinking” or at some of my lower points “dreamin’ on.” Turns out, that God was not just giving me a wish or a dream, He was showing me where He intended to take me. Years later, after suffering through a painful and extended divorce process, five years of single parenthood wrought with many MANY trials, remarriage and blending of personalities…I now sit basking in the joy of God’s vision for my family fulfilled.

(I really do have a point, I promise.)

See, the former things have taken place,
and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
I announce them to you.”

Isaiah 42:9

Your past and my past are “former things.” Get that, deep down, ok? My former life, the one that was totally contrary to what God wanted for me is O.V.E.R. Dead. Gone. But while I was living in that space, God was beginning to declare a new thing. His new thing for me. He has a new thing for you, too…listen closely and I bet you know exactly what it is! If not, I’m 100% confident that if you ask Him to show it to you, He will.

Before the new thing can even begin to grow, we’ve got to catch the vision of it. We’ve got to hear the announcement. The God who spoke the world into existence (go back a few verses in Isaiah) is the one speaking your Changes into existence as well. Think about THAT. There was nothing, God said “Let there be…” and suddenly there WAS. Same is true in your life and mine. Where we see nothing, God is speaking something into existence. When God speaks, worlds change.

The example of my family life is from my past. Now, I have another new thing He’s showing me. I’m treasuring it close for a while as I work out my faith…but trust me when I say that when God first planted this in my heart my reaction was to laugh myself silly. Out loud. Multiple times. With an “if you say so, Lord!” attitude of “impossible” in me. You may be thinking the same thing about the announcement He’s made over you. And honestly? I think that’s somewhat normal. As long as we both move on to…”not my will, but Yours, Oh Lord.”

Are you seeing yourself spiritually restored, even though at present the shards of your spiritual life are scattered everywhere? Are you hearing Him say that you are whole, restored, victorious, but all you see is a mess in the mirror? Take hold of His vision for you, my friend. Hold it close and work out your faith. I’m not promising He’ll bring it to pass immediately, or painlessly for that matter. But as long as you can see it, as long as you can believe it, as long as you and I don’t disregard His leading…it will come to pass.

During the growing pains remember Romans 8:28:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

And don’t be surprised if you eventually reflect and realize that Ephesians 3:20-21 has come to pass:

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]–

To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it).

So be it, indeed.

Our little hearts, they hate changes, don’t they? When I finally find a place of peace in this life, I want to cling to it until my arms ache. Are you the same way? Probably. Oh hey, and what of our tendencies to become creatures of habit? Granted, even if we have a laundry list of good habits that we practice every day…what happens when something comes along and throws them all off-kilter?

Two examples in my life right now~

1. 4thBorn’s sleep habit
As quickly as the bad habit developed, it dissipated. Little one has developed a taste for independence and suddenly desires to sleep in her own bed.

2. The Ick
Tuesday evening through Friday night I suffered from what I am calling “Ick.” I wasn’t violently ill. Mostly I was just weak, ached in my bones and on occasion felt like I was going to be sick. (Or as 4thBorn says…I thought I was going to “spill”) Food was something that tempted, then abused me. And all I wanted was to sleep. CONSTANTLY.

These two changes, one good and timely and one unpleasant and unexpected, totally threw me off my game this week. I tried to roll myself out of bed in the early morning hours without the benefit of my early morning wake-up kick. I tried because those hours have become precious to me. They are my quiet, Bible Study, Prayer, writing, preparing for teaching, early morning sanity time all compacted into the hours of 4-6 am. But once up, I would sit. And stare. Anything that I tried to put into my head seemed to leak right out again. Prayers offered were of the “Oh God, make this go away” variety. Soonish, I would give up and head back to catch a few more winks before attempting the day in earnest. Because the sheer effort of cracking open my Bible or preparing a cup of coffee had already worn me out.

Lame, I know. Lamer still, I kind of miss 4thBorn next to me at night because with her there, I knew I would be happy to get out of bed when the time came. Not so much now. This change needed to happen for her and for us. But, I still hate that it happened. Because now what? Now I have to set an alarm to get my time. Now I have to discipline myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour so getting up is possible. Now I have to develop new habits that I’d basically gotten out of making thanks to her firm little heels and strong leg muscles.

I’m reminded that seeing a need for change and actually making the change are two different things. Entirely. I see it all the time in our group, within my church, and out among the world. People acknowledging that this or that or the other thing needs to change. I need to stop drinking. I need to stop overeating. I need to start exercising so that my health improves. I need to stop enabling that bad behavior. I need to discipline myself to preform that good behavior. I need to cultivate my relationships more. I need to eliminate toxic relationships….

Is there an attitude we can cultivate so that when we recognize a change is needed, and the benefit of making that change, that we just dive in and DO IT? I want that attitude. I want to stop pouring myself into what is not working in my life (I have a relationship in mind) and start pouring myself into making it right (eliminating that relationship leaves ever so slightly more time to nurture more positive ones).

Why does action scare us so? Why does change feel so uncomfortable? Do we make it harder than necessary? Answers (at least my personal opinion): Action = Responsibility and I fear being responsible for any more than I already have on my plate. Also, what if I fail (again with the fear)? Change is uncomfortable because I have a tendency to define who I am by what I do (rather than what I do by who I am). If I change what I do, am I changing who I am? And yes, I do make it harder than necessary…I have to agonize, analyze and criticize it before I get to it. That’s a lot of work compared to this piece of advice:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
Proverbs 3:5-7

So. There you have it. Two years of recovery struggle boiled down to one principle:

“I will trust God to show me what needs to change in my life, I will ask Him for wisdom as I make these changes, and I will not make His work in me more difficult by dragging my feet when I know what I am supposed to do.”

Amen, right?

Has Jesus-haiku
already spent itself? No!
I’m just lost this week.

Travel, sickness and
my normal routine shattered.
What was I doing?

What day is it now?
A natural rhythm gone.
Creature of habit.

I need extra help~
longer time spent with you Oh Lord,
your healing presence.

Wrap me up Jesus
blanket me–restore my strength
show me my next step.

Yes, reveal that step
and give me strength to take it
wherever it leads.