In our Thursday night group, we are at the place where we prepare to do our spiritual inventory. This time around I have some “new” issues in mind that I would like to include in my inventory. These are events that I have only recently remembered and I realize that they have caused some pretty severe hangups. Now that I remember them I understand some of my less than stellar behavior in the past a lot better. But that doesn’t make the inventory any easier to do. Thinking about these events is hard enough, cataloging the emotional damage they’ve caused is going to be devastating. I’m not sure I am fully prepared. But then, I wasn’t the first time around either.

So with these thoughts running through my mind, and knowing that others in the group are preparing to do their inventories for the first time, I sought some encouragement from the Word. Read the rest of this entry »

I recently ran across a very interesting podcast. We all know the holidays are prime time for relapse. The simple fact that everyone seems bent on the eat-drink-be merry thing means we are constantly either on guard or thrown headfirst into temptation. But there is another aspect that might come into play if your family is not a safe haven for you. A woman visiting our group last night said that she felt like a stranger to her family now because of the change in her and the distinct rejection of that change by her family. So we feel isolated during this time of year leaving us susceptible to stumbling.

As Johnny Baker and Bob Wood said in the podcast, relapse does not being at the first drink or acting out on our behaviors. I know this to be true in my own life as I have totally fallen prey to the pattern of relapse that they discussed. Read the rest of this entry »

In my heart of hearts I know that the only reason I can say I am a changed person is that “the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.” That precious baby is now my deliverer, my Savior, the lover of my soul. He has walked me through the roughest roads I’ve traveled, and pulled me out of pit after pit after pit. Without Him, I would be lost.

Tonight, as all the preparatory hub-bub dies down… I’m abiding in the peace of my God and Savior. I’m full to overflowing with the blessings of knowing Him. And from my full heart to yours I wish you a Merry Christmas. May His peace overflow your heart too, and may you be overwhelmed by His blessings in the coming year.

Love and Prayers,

Jen

One of the goals of recovery is to achieve a lasting change, right? Of course. Ask anyone in a 12 step meeting why they are there and you will hear some version of “I want to change…” How is it then, that some people move through recovery at a steady clip and come out on the other side forever changed for the better, but others stagnate somewhere along the line? Or worse, they “step and step and step” but never really have any lasting changes in their lives. What attitudes help put me in the forever changed category?

I think if we really want to have deep, lasting change in our lives we have to understand three key facets of change and we need a healthy dose of each. Personally, I think we handicap ourselves when we approach recovery without all three. That is to say if we leave one of them out, we aren’t going to get very far without facing relapse or consistently struggling over the same issues. Read the rest of this entry »

The road of recovery is never meant to be traveled alone. At our last group meeting, we touched on three relationships that are critical:

The first is obviously my relationship to God. He has supplied the direction, the power, the grace and the healing that I have experienced since first setting foot in a recovery setting. He continues to draw and sharpen and mature me as I give back into the program that I believe saved my sanity, my marriage, and my life. Without Him, I would’ve stopped when it got hard (Spiritual Inventory is difficult!), I would’ve failed to see the truth about myself and my life, I would’ve probably fallen prey to even more of the lies of addiction, depression and co-dependency. I cannot emphasize enough how important it was for me to have Him during this time.

The second is my relationship to my church family. There is something supernatural about communal worship. Something powerful happens to me, inside of me, in that room…something I can’t really describe but know without a doubt when it is missing. As I was struggling to articulate this during the lesson, one of the participants said that he’d always heard it described like this: If you have a bonfire and you remove one log…the fire on that log will smolder out. I like that imagery. And while I’ve definitely been in some church environments that were more akin to throwing water on my flame, I am currently at home in a body of believers in which I fit, I have found purpose, and have God’s affirmation that He wants me to be there.

The third relationship is the one I have with my Sponsor or Accountability partner. The difference is simple: A sponsor has completed their program and is there to help guide me through the program. Think of a sponsor as a coach. An accountability partner is more like a team-mate. They are on the same step or a little further along in their journey and the two of us support each other as we move through the program together. Read the rest of this entry »